What the hell is a “Dopamine Menu”, and why is my therapist recommending it?
As a millennial therapist, I am certainly not immune to the wellness culture fads that promise perfect skin, stress free mornings, or uninterrupted sleep cycles. And please believe, I’ve tried all the mocktails, red lights, supplements, and sauna bags. However, as someone who works with the overachieving, perfectionistic, people pleasing millennial woman - I am very suspicious of the dark and shaming undertones of wellness culture and the subliminal “you will never be good enough until you master this new trend…” messaging. That is why when I see a trend picking up steam on social media, I take a close interest in what that trend both promises and requires of us. Therefore when I find a trend that is not corrupted with the subtle but significant pressures of toxic wellness culture, I celebrate and share!
The most recent iteration of this healthy wellness trend that I have come across is the “Dopamine Menu”. This is a visual exercise where participants are invited to create their own literal menu with actual categories from appetizers to entrees to desserts. But instead of filling this menu up with different food types, you’re encouraged to list out a variety of individualized behaviors, hobbies, or activities that make you feel good - or produce a dopamine response - thus creating your own personalized Dopamine Menu.
Quick psych lesson, dopamine is both a hormone and neurotransmitter whose main job is to manage the reward and motivation messaging in the brain. Basically when we do something that makes us feel good, it is because the brain releases dopamine. Everything from completing a workout to finishing a book to making your bed or loading the dishwasher can produce a small dopamine response. However, it is important to remember that dopamine is neither good nor bad - it's simply responsive. As Jonathan Haidt puts it in his new book The Anxious Generation, “dopamine circuits are centrally involved in wanting, as in ‘that felt great, I want more.” The power of dopamine is in the pleasure it creates and how that pleasure motivates us to keep going in whatever it is we are doing. This pursuit of pleasure can be channeled into tasks that have positive impacts on our health, relationships, or work. It can motivate us to achieve a fitness goal, graduate an academic program, spend time with friends, in nature, or pursuing spiritual enlightenment. The pursuit of pleasure can also result in a dopamine loop that addicts us to drugs or gambling, or risk. The way I see dopamine loops functioning most commonly is the way it can keep us glued to our social media feeds, streaming services, dating apps, or work messaging apps like Slack or Teams. This dopamine loop can leave us feeling overstimulated, hopeless, and burnt out.
Let’s pause here and quickly check in. If you’re beginning to wonder about your relationship with dopamine ask yourself this: Have I have ever said to myself “one last email and then I’ll log off” or “one more episode and then I’ll go to sleep” or maybe “5 more swipes or profiles or scrolls and then I will make dinner.” If the answer is yes, you were most likely in an operantly conditioned dopamine black hole. You were getting small but sticky hits of dopamine waiting for the next funny reel or next plot twist in the series or next attractive match on Hinge that you just couldn’t pull yourself away at that moment. You wanted just a little more. We can easily get trapped in these dopamine black holes where our cravings for connection, validation, acknowledgment and ultimately more dopamine can leave us feeling powerless and stuck.
The good news is, we can always take our power back. One such way to reclaim power and agency over our dopamine responses is curating a Dopamine Menu focused on mindfulness, intentionality, and intuition. I am not in the business of saying behaviors are good or bad. Social media, streaming services, dating apps can actually bring a lot of joy, connection, and creativity into our lives. And certain types of exercise or cleaning or productivity can become very compulsive and unhealthy. The key is not to identify good dopamine releasing behaviors and bad ones. It is to be aware of how these behaviors are impacting YOU. The Dopamine Menu is a great way to practice intentional and intuitive interaction with dopamine responses without getting sucked into a dopamine black hole. In the same way there are not good foods or bad foods, there is simply awareness of how certain foods make you feel. I invite you to bring this awareness to your Dopamine Menu exercise. Pay attention to how you feel before, during, and after these behaviors and make modifications as you need.
BRIDGET’S RECOMMENDATIONS
The Appetizer:
This section is to be filled with more “bite sized” activities to be done when you’re low on time or looking for a quick boost and have anywhere between 5-15 minutes. I encourage these activities to be focused on short term pleasures. This means they take minimal effort in the moment but can produce a pleasurable experience rather quickly. Some of my favorites are stretching or yoga, a quick walk in the sunshine, an upbeat feel good song or two, a snack, a cup or tea, a shower or sauna/ steam, meditation, a long hug or kiss.
The Entree:
This section is to be filled with more sustainable options that take a bit more time but have the effect of leaving you a bit tired or “full.” One way to think about this may be adopting a “slow burn” approach. Something that may take a few hours but can be accomplished in the same day you started. This is something that may not be particularly easy but can still be enjoyed.
Some of my favorites include making a new recipe, rearranging furniture or home decoration projects, working on a work or creative project, listening to a book or long podcast, a long hike or drive, cleaning out my closet, a long walk with friends followed by a meal or coffee or cocktail.
The Dessert:
This section is where we want to use our awareness of the dopamine response to promote more intentional and mindful consumption. These are dopamine release activities I would put some caution tape around. Not because they are inherently bad. In fact, these are some of my FAVORITE activities! But they can lead to dopamine black holes that we want to be conscious about not getting stuck in.
Some of my favorites include scrolling on social media, binge watching TV or movie marathons, staying in bed until late morning/ early afternoon, shopping, texting/ messaging.
